feeling stressed out pressed for time and i don't know who to trust anymore living right now is difficult i know i can do it but where's my release? not doing anymore homework cuz i feel so stressed just sitting ere and al i can do is plan for later when i get a job when i get a car when i graduate when i go to college when when when but im not doing anything about it right now. this kills me i really need someone to talk to maybe even if im not talking about my problems or stresses i just want someone to talk with me in a way that i don't feel i'm putting a shitload of effort into it. friends aren't really friends anymore i've really given up on shena, me and lainee just don't click lik we use to, most ccm peps only want to kick it when i jack a bottle, my sisters gone off the wayside with that dumb bitch kayla, shirin is just a stupidass shit talker, fredo is in israel and i miss him so much i could die, and alot of other guys just want sex or they have girlfriends and i don't want to offend anyone by talking to their bf. i even friggin miss talking to mike so much it sucks like a leech on my heart. the only person i can think of to really comfortably talk to is aldo. i love aldo so much and i am working double time on the only thinking of dion all the time, no one else ever ever ever. but this is frigign hard. while i do love aldo, i also really do appreciate him more as a friend because i am a shitty girlfriend. however, i do not want to call aldo for the same reason as i no longer want to be friends with shena. BRUCE. im really starting to hate him and i just want to not care but it's hard when i hear from people that bruce talks mad shit about me and plus he is just disrespectful to me right in my fucking face. so supposebly shirin told aldo that i still wanted to fuck him, and he asked shena who asked lainee who then relayed it to me. i just hate that. i didn't talk to aldo about it yet but i think i'll leave him a message because it's really bothering me. or maybe i'll just try to get a hold of him sometime tommorow because somehow things always get worse when others have written proff of your saying ANYTHING. this is so third grade but it really did bother me when dion told me that bruce said to him, "yeah i know you probably don't wanna hear this but you girlfriends a slut and she still wants to fuck aldo." luckily i had already told dion about that rumor and im glad i said something about it first. blahh blahh. i think i just need more sleep. i'm probably gonna smoke this ciggarette then nap. i guess i'll get to my homework tommorow. i gotta try not to drink, it's really killin me. love emy. | 
